How I Use Social Media

As 2016 is drawing to a close, and 2017 is fast approaching, I have been thinking about the amount of time I spend online, specifically on social media platforms (i.e. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc....). There are just so many of them, it's easy to just get lost on your phone (or computer) for...ever. 

 I personally only really use Facebook or Instagram with any real regularity.  Even those two are more than a drain on my time.  So I've been really thinking about what it is that I enjoy about each of them and how to make better, more productive use of my time online and shave off the pointless, waste of time, constant checking of social media that is so very tempting when you "only have a minute here or there anyway".  

Instagram is by far my favorite.  It's mostly pictures.  Little tidbits about someone's day or a small peek at their heart.  Mostly beautiful and encouraging.  There is a main focus on positivity, beauty, and the joy in life.  There are bits of heavy and heart-breaking, which balance the scale and make it a realistic and honest, yet still encouraging and upbeat place to be.  

Facebook is mostly a drain for me now, but I do still see it's positive attributes, so I plan to stay on there, though in a more limited capacity (meaning I won't be wasting my time there, just checking here and there to see what family and friends are up to).  I dislike the negativity that seems to prevail and the oversharing.  I enjoy being able to share and read blog posts, pictures, and quick messages, but there is a lot to wade through, so and quite frankly I need the time I'm wasting scrolling to spend with my family and friends around me. 

One thing I'm not a huge fan of about Instagram is the fact that you can link it to Facebook and then it's like a double post.  I do sometimes choose to share a photo on Facebook that I've shared on Instagram, but I try to do it infrequently because otherwise people who follow me on both have to see it twice.  All the time.  

*Note* This next section isn't meant to offend- it's meant to shed light on my personal views of Instagram and what I like and dislike.  Everyone is different and don't judge people based on these things.  I merely enjoy certain Instagram accounts more or less because of my own personal views and tastes.  

I also view Instagram as a "best of" sort of place for pictures.  I admit that it annoys me just a little when people post like 5-10 (or more!) pictures from the same place, event, photoshoot, activity, day etc.  I also get a tad bit annoyed when people share really poor quality photos.  I mean sometimes you captured a moment and it's a little dark, so I get it.  But I see Instagram as a photographic snapshot of my life and poor quality, dark pictures as a regular thing aren't my favorite.  Admittedly I'm not a photographer nor do I consider myself to have an amazing natural ability in it, but I do try to think about the moment and perhaps add a little beauty here and there (or crop the photo so that the dirty laundry isn't in every shot)....  I feel like Instagram has helped me to become a (slightly) better photographer because I see so many beautiful photos taken by many people and I think, "Hey!  I could take a good shot of my baby with a little extra work, a couple props or a cute blanket, and some decent lighting."  

On that note, this is totally a plug for Instagram for any of you who are not on there.  Even if you don't want to post very much (once a week or once a month), I find it to be a more uplifting place than Facebook for the most part and I personally share a different way there.  My Instagram posts are often a tiny little snapshot of a moment in my day.  I might share a quick Bible verse or thought that was on my mind, I might share a brief story of something that took place that day, I might share something that made me laugh, cry, or smile.  I might share a beautiful view that caught my eye.  Just little snippets that I don't often share on Facebook or even on our blog in the same way.  So, for all of you who are interested in that sort of thing, find me on Instagram at @mamalaurarose

This is just a snapshot of the pictures that I've shared there in the last month or so, but each of them does have a little description too (you just can't see it in this particular frame screenshot).  Anyway, I just thought I'd put out a little shout out for Instagram because I plan to spend less and less time on Facebook (and use it merely for networking and keeping in touch here and there).  I certainly won't be spending crazy amounts of time on Instagram either, but it's my favorite Social Media platform, so it's where I'll be most active and I'd love to connect with anyone whose on there and share little snippets of your life and be encouraged by you as well.  

God bless!

My personal facebook rules

The following is a list of Facebook rules that I followtry to adhere by. I do not expect you to follow them (the thing that truly ANNOYS me is in the section, "My Facebook Pet Peeve"

My personal Facebook Rules:

1. I refuse to "like" every picture (or close to every picture) in someone's photo album. If I think they are all beautiful, funny, touching, -fill-in-the-blank-adjective- I will "like" the entire album. There is a button for that, you know.

2. Along the same lines, I will not "like" your comments unless I find them to be especially amusing, witty, or wise.

Examples of comments I will not facebook "like":
a) Your daughters are so cute!

b) I miss you/love you!

c) Your shoes are so adorable! Where did you get them?

While they are all nice comments, see the above (amusing, witty, or wise!!) for comments that I facebook "like".

Note* If you like to "like" everything, you go right ahead. But it's not my style, so don't be offended when I don't "like" all your comments even when you "like" all of mine. :)

3. I try very hard (I am a proud parent, so it makes this rule particularly difficult at times) NOT to post an album of anything with more than 50 pictures. IF it does have more than 50 pictures, it is from a long, extended event and there will not be 15 pictures that are basically the exact same thing. Why is this a rule? Because first of all, looking at the 'same' picture 20 times is really not that interesting (except to me, since I could look at pictures of my kids all day). This is not limited to pictures of the kids though. Scenic pictures are also on the cutting block. It is my experience that generally people want to see highlights. They want to see the best of the pictures I took, because lets' face facts: No matter how amazing my picture of that mountain scene reflected off the lake is, it will never be even close to as pretty as the real thing, so no one needs to see a fake 20 times. They'd like a nice preview, so they can decide if it's worth their time to take the trip to see the actual scene in nature for themselves. If not, they will enjoy my few pretty pictures and move along with their lives.

4. I am generally really bad at this rule, but I'm working on it. I am one of those people who likes to have the last word. Not just in debates, but in facebook thread conversations as well. Some part of me feels rude if I don't respond again. But most of the time that last comment of mine is totally unnecessary.
example:
Me: So adorable! Your baby is precious.
Friend: Thanks! We think so too.
Me: Well, you are right! :)

There's nothing wrong with the last comment; but it's pretty much saying what I already said (that the kid is adorable) and may make my friend feel the awkward need to respond again herself with something like "thank you, Laura! You are too kind!" And then I feel the need to respond with "I was just being honest." And the thread never ends.....

So I try not to leave open ended threads or feel the need to have a response for every comment.

5. I try to keep my status updates varied. Again, this one doesn't always happen (as I have posted several times about silly things I have read in high school essays recently), but I try to not post a million times in a row about something my kids did or another inspirational qoute or 50 posts about how I love my husband. It's more interesting to read status updates of my friends when they change it up, so I figure it's probably a good rule to have for myself

And now for the thing that really, truly ANNOYS me.

My personal Facebook Pet Peeve.

1. People who share other people's news on facebook before they do. Every time a friend of mine gets engaged, pregnant, or gets a new job, I always cringe when they aren't the first person to share it on their facebook wall (or on facebook in general).

Here's how it can work.

Scenario 1: Julie gets engaged. She tells her family. They tell their friends (people that she probably doesn't even know and certainly isn't facebook friends with). Those friends tell their friends, who happen to be old college friends of Julia's. They post "Congratulations! It's about time you two got engaged!" on Julia's wall. Julia has not yet announced the news on her own facebook wall yet....awkward. Especially since news traveled so fast that it had only been a few hours since the engagement and she hadn't had a chance to tell some of her closest girlfriends who now feel left out since some random person knew before they did.

Scenario 2: Jim's wife, Annie is pregnant. They sent out a clever picture letting their family know. Annie's family received theirs. Jim's family received theirs, but his sister didn't open the mail sitting in a huge stack in the kitchen, so she is still oblivious. In the meantime, Annie's sister writes "I am going to be an Aunt! Congrats Annie and Jim!" on her own wall. Jim's sister sees it and wonders why she found out the news on facebook.

(Note to Tracy: this didn't actually happen to us, but I thought I'd use your bad habit of not opening mail in a timely fashion in my scenario anyway)

What is appropriate is to let people share their own news on facebook before you make mention of it (either on their wall or on your own). This is what phones, email, and facebook messages are for. If you want to say Congratulations use one of those private methods until the person has made the news public on facebook him/herself.

The ONLY disclaimers are when someone has been given permission by someone else to share the news for them because they will be unable to post it for several days themselves and want to get the news out OR the person's spouse has shared the news on facebook. If your spouse has shared the news, and you weren't ready for them to, that's your own marriage dispute to settle. Otherwise, it's rude to share someone else's news before they do.

I have accidentally shared someone's special news in person and it was rather embarrassing. I assumed they had already told the other people present because we had arrived late at the get together. A mistake that could have been avoided if I hadn't assumed something. But an honest mistake. There is NO excuse on Facebook. If there isn't an announcement on their wall, it's pretty obvious they haven't made the announcement on facebook yet. So hold your public congrats until he/she/they do.



Also, since I know someone will have to be the cynic who points out, "You don't have to be on facebook, so you have no right to be annoyed with anyone else's facebook etiquette", here is my response. I am allowed to be annoyed with anyone I want. So are you. Apparently you are annoyed at me. So go blog about it.

Lastly, a note to all the people out there who dislike when people put pictures of their children as their profile picture: When you become a parent, there are hardly any photos taken of you ever again. And if they are, they are usually not flattering because you are chasing your kid around or spent so much time getting your kids ready that you didn't have time to put on make-up. So, it's either my cute kids or a picture of me from my wedding. Pick your poison. ;)

Feel free to post sarcastic remarks or your own facebook rules or peeves. I'm happy to hear them all.