Beautiful Like Me!

The word COMPARISON has been on my heart for awhile.  And then I read this post at Catholic All Year about "mommy wars" and such and it was spot on.  Read it.  Go ahead.....

So, have YOU ever noticed that the world makes EVERYthing a comparison? 

Now I'm not saying there is a problem with weighing decisions with a nice pro-con list, or that there is no place for competition.  

She'd probably win an eating competition.
Or at least make a huge mess. 

On the contrary, I love a good pro-con list when it comes to making a decision.  I simply make sure that I ask the Holy Spirit to guide me and if His input doesn't agree with my detailed pro-con list, I still listen to Him anyway.  Even if the only thing listed on my "pro" side is: I feel like God is calling me to do this....

Similarly, I absolutely love a competitive sports game or a riveting board game.  And I think there is a place for it.   

The problem, I think, is that what should be a friendly competition often becomes aggressive because we begin comparing ourselves to others in very unhealthy ways.  And in our society that sort of comparison mentality has spilled over into every part of our lives.  

We get up each morning and some of us go to jobs.  Jobs where we constantly feel the need to be better than our coworkers or really just be "the best".  We want to be best so that we don't lose our jobs, which sounds rather admirable, BUT (of course there's a but) this sort of attitude means that we are motivated by fear.  

We should be doing our very best out of love (for our family, for ourselves, out of respect for the people we work for), and if that's not enough for a company, then the Lord has a better plan.  And yes, it is absolutely a huge step to dive in with LOVE as your only true motivation, because people are often selfish, and there are many others out there who are looking for any and every way to get ahead.  

BUT (yep, another but!) this comparing attitude isn't just limited to doing well at jobs.  It's EVERYwhere!!

Take a look in the mirror.  Chances are you are daily comparing yourself to someone else.  Perhaps it's someone you know who seems to be able to eat anything they want and never gain an ounce.  Perhaps it's the women in magazines, on television shows, and in movies who are likely airbrushed and photoshopped anyway.  Perhaps it's a version of YOU that you saw in the mirror 2, 3, 5, or 10 years ago and you so desperately want to be there again.  But we rarely truly see ourselves in the mirror.  We are constantly trying to change something or beating ourselves up because we aren't something else.  

Now I'm not saying we shouldn't aim to be healthy and fit, but our aim should not be to look like someone else or to be as thin as "the perfect woman"!  It should not be because we don't feel beautiful at a certain weight, with a certain hairstyle, etc.  No matter what size we are, we should eat nutritionally and get regular exercise.  Why?  Because we are all temples of the Holy Spirit and we should take care of the gift of our bodies that the Lord has blessed us with.  But we should also realize that we are beautiful no matter size we are or what stage in the life we are in.  

If you go through, say, a pregnancy, you may gain some extra weight.  And it may take some time to slowly lose those extra pounds (and some parts of your body may just never be the same again).  But we shouldn't compare ourselves to others or our past selves during the process.  It's so tempting to look at other moms and be jealous because they lose the baby weight more easily.  We might also look at other moms who are struggling to lose the weight even more than we are, and get a little prideful.  Well, at least I don't look like them!  She must have eaten nothing but donuts that whole pregnancy.  Geez!  Comparing, again!!  

What we should be doing instead is loving ourselves and each other exactly as we are in the present.  That doesn't mean we can't have goals and recognize that there are areas where we can improve our health, but we should realize that we are the same person at every step in the process.  Who we are does not change with our size, hairstyle, or a new outfit.  We will ALWAYS be a child of God.  The state of our soul and the way we treat others is so much more important!

And yet comparisons are everywhere.  When we take a test, it's usually not enough for us to do well.  We want to do BETTER than everyone else.  

When we get married, we want to have the BEST marriage.  

We want to buy the BEST house with the biggest kitchen or the largest yard.  

We want our kids to be the MOST stylish, the CUTEST, SMARTEST.  We want them to be the most well behaved, and polite.  We want them to be perfect. 

 And we want to be the BEST parents.  The ones who "can do it all" and do it all perfectly.  

And on and on....

We crave the BEST of everything, and we seek to be the BEST at everything.  

And we never stop to think that all these comparisons hurt us and they hurt others. We are so wrapped up in a never ending competition.  We will always be able to find someone who is better at something than we are, so our constant comparisons become depressing.  They defeat us.  They paralyze us.  

We become afraid.  We put on facades and pretend we are people that we aren't.  We change ourselves and look to others for approval.  We try and try and try and never feel like we are getting anywhere.  

WHY?

Because we have difficulty living out this simple verse:

 Because the TRUTH is that God made everyone unique.  Sure we have similarities.  But no two people are exactly the same.  And we aren't supposed to be.  There is no cookie cutter perfect person.  I saw a quote on Pinterest once that said "I am not beautiful like you.  I am beautiful like me."

God wants us to be who He created each of us to be.  He does't want us to be someone else.  He wants us to take pride in being His beautiful and perfect creation. He wants this for us:

We are so busy comparing ourselves to others, trying to be better than others, and trying to win the approval of others that we forget that God made us different-- UNIQUE!!  We don't have the same paths to heaven.  Our paths will cross dozens, hundreds, thousands of others' in our lifetime, but he calls us to let OUR light shine.   

I believe God wants us to tear down the walls we build up with comparisons.  He wants us be transformed and to be confident in His love for us.  He wants us to know ourselves and be kind to ourselves.  He wants us to know our worth and our beauty which is a reflection of Him--we are created in His image.  

We are the light of world.  

We need to stop labeling, judging, and comparing.  Instead let's look for the beauty in others and in ourselves. Let's encourage each other.  Let's compliment each other.  Let's live a life of love.  

That's where true beauty is found. 

Link-up over at blessedisshe.net for some great posts about body image this week