Rocky Mountain National Park 2016

We have a National Parks pass for the year which expires at the end of September.  We had hoped to get one more national park in this year (Rocky Mountain) so it was perfect that Kolbe was born a tad early so that I could be recovered enough to do a bit of short hiking and justify the trip up.  

The fall foliage was out in it's glory.  Fall is my favorite and in a place like Colorado there are bold, blazing fall colors to enhance the already breathtaking scenery.  It was just lovely.  

 

(the pictures above were all taken by Chris)

See?  I wasn't kidding about the amazing scenery and the stunning fall colors. 

Though the scenery was spectacular, the day was not all smiles and contentment.  In fact, there were parts of our Rocky Mountain day that were downright crappy.  To begin, we got up there and had to take a shuttle bus to the trailhead and Ava forgot her water cup in the car.  Not an actual problem because we had plenty of water to share, but it was THE END OF THE WORLD to her.  She cried for at least half of our hike because her water cup had been left behind in the car.  Additionally it was a windy day and Elise, who has some random and intense fears, was losing her marbles about that.  So for the first half of our 3/4 mile hike was a mess.  I felt like a horrible parent as we trudged along with crying children all the while trying to reason with each of them that it was NOT in fact the end of the world.  For either of them.  Eventually they came around and the rest of the hike was nice.  

 One of our happy hikers

 

The sad sacks.....                                                         Eventually they got happy too!

Told ya it was windy.  Look at that hair do!!

And then we had a nice time for a bit while we drove through some other sections of the park and enjoyed the beauty around us.  But as we were leaving the park, we started to have more meltdowns.  We had hoped that the girls would all take rests on the way home (during what would normally be nap time), but our two cranky girls from the early part of the day hit some kind of second wind and just laughed and giggled.  Doesn't sound bad....but then they were so riled up that when the true tiredness set in they started screaming at each other and hitting each other and yelling that the other was being too loud......and on and on.  And then they'd start giggling together again for a few minutes and then the hitting and yelling would return.  It was a roughly hour and a half long saga going back and forth and ALL of it drove the rest of the car completely bonkers.  By the time we arrived home, we were all totally frazzled and on the brink of meltdowns ourselves.  Elise and Ava went to bed about 2 1/2 hours early and the rest of the clan retired earlier than usual too because it has been a long day.  Sadly we ended on a "blah" note because overall the day was a very good one with lovely sights and some fun memories made together, the meltdowns at the beginning and especially at the end tainted the day a bit.  

But I won't leave you with the blah...

I've got a few more beautiful pictures for you and an encouraging verse.  

Romans 5:3-5 

"..we rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.  And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us."

A Romantic Valentine's Day Evening (that was anything but)

Before I begin this post, I need to make a few disclaimers:
** I am not writing to make anyone feel badly about loving and enjoying a really romantic Valentine's Day with their spouse or significant other.  If you are the type of person who loves all things Valentine's Day and doesn't feel jaded about it like I do, POWER to you!
 **I am not writing to get some kind of pat on the back or because I'm looking for sympathy or pity. (You may find that hard to believe as you read through, but once you get to the end it will all pull together, I promise).   Because I repeat, I'm NOT asking for pity.  In fact, I don't want your pity and you'll see why later.   And I repeat, I'm not trying to tell you how I'm some supermom either.  I'm sharing an experience that I learned from and that is all.

And there will be randomly placed pictures of smiling 1 year old throughout.  For no apparent reason.  She's just cute and you might need a fun picture break every so often.

Ok, so here we go.

Just for good measure we'll start off with a cute picture. 

It shouldn't be new news that Chris and I have never been huge Valentine's Day fans.  We see it as a big marketing day to make money off of things that people should be doing a whole lot more regularly than once or twice a year.  Plus everything is marked up.  Because it's a Valentine's Day bouquet, it's twice as much.  Because it's Valentine's Day chocolate, it's twice as much.  And we've always thought that going OUT to dinner on a day when all the other couples in the world are also going out sounds like a nightmare.  Totally not us.  To each his own.  But that's just not how the us in this marriage works.  

So Valentine's Day around here usually consists of some simple homemade cards (that those who can create, create) and a dinner prepared by one or the other of us adults; often we each do parts of it and thus work together.   And then we usually have a sweet treat (this year was chocolate covered cherries and almonds) together-just the two of us- after the kids are in bed.  

This year was mostly the same routine.
Until it was time to put the kids to bed.  

Elise had had a low-grade fever that we'd been keeping an eye on all day, but there weren't really other symptoms so we just had it in the back of our minds.  So we put Sophie down about half hour before the other gals and she falls right to sleep.  As we are putting the other three down, suddenly Elise is a basket case.  A complete basket case.  I had put a little lavender oil on her forehead to help with the fever and to help her sleep.  But she was worried, OH SO WORRIED, that it was getting in her eyes.  And suddenly, (of course!) her eyes feel funny.  And she's crying and the tears might get the oil in her eyes.  And on and on.  You really have to be present for an Elise-fear-meltdown to even come close to understanding what it's like.  There is NO talking her out of anything.  Just crying.  And more crying.  

And then Ava decided she didn't want to say our family decade of the Rosary, so she starts crying too.  Chris and Kayla keep praying the decade.  Ava keeps crying.  I keep quietly whispering to Elise her special Bible verse, "When I am afraid, I will trust in You," and begging for the intercession of St. Dymphna (patron Saint of anxiety), Mary, and Jesus.  And eventually Ava gives up and stops crying.  And eeee-ven-tuaaaally, Elise slows her cries to little whimpers and those pitiful little cry hiccups (you know what I'm talking about right?).

We get the girls to bed.

And they are quiet for a few minutes.

Then Elise is crying again.  I sit with her and rub her back and hold her hand and whisper a few "decades" of a Chaplet of Mercy slowly and she falls asleep.

Now Ava is making noise again.  So I sit with her and we pray the rest of the Chaplet together slowly.  She finally seems to realize it's bedtime and she is a bit tired and lays still, so I tell her I'll be back to check on her and tiptoe out.

Finally it's time for Chris and I to watch our latest show, Person of Interest, on Netflix.  Sunday is our one day to watch TV and snack since we're giving that up for Lent, so we grabbed our goodies and sat down to enjoy our little show date.

I told you there would be random photos...

Part way through, right when we're at a cliff hanger, I hear something.  Chris pauses the show and sure enough, Elise is crying again.  Up the stairs I go to see what the problem is.  She has to go potty.  The tired, frustrated part of me wants to scream (or at least berate her), "Then JUST GO!  You are 4 years old.  Open the door to your room, find the bathroom, and go potty!!!"  But she's little.  And she's tired.  And she's not feeling 100%.  And she's Elise.  Everything is a big deal.  So I hold her hand and take her to the restroom.  And when she's done, I hold her hand and bring her back to bed.  Kisses and snuggles, we say our verse again and she closes her eyes once more.

Back to the show.

Another cliff hanger (it's kind of that kind of a show...) and I hear more noises.
Elise again.  We had watched Cinderella as our family movie night earlier that evening and when I went upstairs to see what she was crying about this time, it was the movie.  She was bummed that Cinderella went away from her home in the carriage with the Prince at end of the movie.  "WHERE were they going?  I want Cinderella to come back to her house!!" she wails.  I explain a bit about that and rub her back, give her some hugs and kisses, and we repeat her verse a few times more.  She settles back down uh-again.

Back to the show which we finished and then we headed off to bed.

And just as we are laying down, I hear the sound of a door opening...

Ava.  She had to use the restroom.  This happens almost every night, and recently it has meant that she begins crying almost hysterically throughout the process until she is returned to her bed.  So there was that.  Back to bed for her.

And back to bed for me.  And then more wails.  This time it was Sophie and Elise.  Elise's ear was bothering her a little.  Chris got her some ibuprofen and I put Sophie back to bed.  She was not happy about that at all.  Apparently Elise's cries had woken her up and she is crankypants when she gets woken up in the night.  So she cried, while Elise got her medicine and I tried to soothe her (because Elise is pretty always a basket case when she wakes up in the middle of the night).  Eventually after more prayers, I finally calmed her down enough that I could convince her to go back to her bed and I took Sophie out and brought her to bed with me.  She quieted down a little, but wasn't going to sleep.  Her restless little toes kept digging into my side, so I put her in the pack n play which we still have set up in our room for naps for her some days.  She cried momentarily and then gave in to sweet sleep.  And so did I.  For a blissful little period of time.

And I honestly can't remember much of the rest of the night except that I got up again with Elise and had to calm her down again and again with Ava who was a huge basket case herself that time and wanted me to lay with her (that's her thing recently).  I give in sometimes, and this was definitely one of those nights.  Normally though, she falls back asleep quickly and I can retreat silently back to my own (now cold) side of the bed in my own room.  But that night she was all kinds of restless and squirmy and oh my goodness.

And then she was in my room whining for "bwekfas" at 7:01am and I couldn't even.   I just sent her to get the pile of books that I knew was laying somewhere on our floor from the last time that a scenario of this general nature happened and she sat semi quietly on the bed between Chris and I and looked at the huge stack of books while I lay there in my daze.  Eventually I felt I could peel my eyes open enough to walk down the stairs without tripping over and we commenced with the breakfast eating.

My friends, I am still not sure that the calm woman who handled that Valentine's Night(mare) was me.  I'm not going to lie and pretend that normally when I get up in the middle of the night with the kids that I'm patient and cuddling and nurturing mom.  I'm usually cranky, tired, deep-angry-sighing mom who gets to the nurturing once the kiddos are back in bed by remembering a kiss and a hug and a "Sleep with the angels" (because despite my tired, crankiness, I do love my kids).  But the mom from Valentine's Day night was loaded up with grace.  Jesus and the Saints must have given me a few extra helpings of grace because I was actually able to embrace my crosses of suffering and they became joyful.  I wasn't resentful of the many trips I made that night to comfort, help in the bathroom, soothe fears based in fantasy, or cuddle restless children who seemed to want anything but the sleep I so craved.  Because I craved loving them, specifically, loving them as Christ does more than I craved sleeping.
  It was incredible.

The next day, I saw this quote on Blessed Is She's Instagram page that I had somehow missed on Valentine's Day, but which spoke to me so much more deeply the following day because I had just experienced it in such a tangible way.
"Pure love knows that only one thing is needed to please God: to do even the smallest things out of great love- love, and always love. " -St. Faustina

This Valentine's Day was one in which I can definitely say that I experienced true, pure, raw love.  Love and marriage are about sacrifice.  Sure, there's lots of joy to be found in love and in marriage and in romance--I know, I've experienced that too.  But this year my Valentine's Day was spent reflecting on love in a much different way than I'm used to.  It was spent living it.  And I know without a doubt that I was given special graces to live it well this year.

Our kids are a true blessing in our lives, but it's not just because of the joy and smiles and cuddles they bring.  Kids also have needs, and they are their own stubborn little people who push your buttons and make messes and get in the way of what you want to do sometimes.  There I said it.  It's true.  But when we choose to open ourselves to God's grace and sacrifice our own wants and needs to meet theirs, it is a truly amazing and incredible experience.  Because of my husband and kids, I have daily opportunities to grow in virtue by sacrificing myself and choosing to love my family through tiny tiny acts of service.  And when I choose to embrace what many look upon as annoyances, I can see that they are truly beautiful expressions of pure love.

Do I go back and forth, fighting against the idea that losing myself is actually how I find myself in Christ?  Yes.  But I'm grateful for nights like these that remind me that God's grace is truly enough.  And that choosing joy is always an option.

Happy Belated Valentine's Day, friends.  I hope yours was filled with the love and joy of Christ, whatever that might have meant for you this year.  

Top 8 Moments of Christmas Day 2015

I took the remaining part of Advent and most of Christmas season off (to follow the advice in my lovely Advent print above and "pause in silence to understand a presence") after posting our Christmas Video Interview, but Epiphany seemed like a nice evening to finally get our Christmas Day post up.  

Top 8 Moments

of 

Christmas Day

2015

(in order of appearance)

yet another Christmas outtake

1. Magic Christmas lights!

I'm not sure how everything works at your house, but at ours, if you sing to the Christmas tree the lights turn on with the help of special Christmas magic.  It was especially magical on Christmas Eve as the girls sang "O Christmas Tree" to Monty (our Monterey Pine tree) and the lights twinkled and sparkled from a few moments after their little voices began all the way through the night and all day Christmas.  There's just something about Christmas lights that makes Christmas that much more special especially when they turn on by themselves!

2. The Christmas story and Nativity decade

To begin our morning, we all gathered in our big, comfy bed to read the Christmas story together.  I'm sure that's a tradition that many adhere to, as it's something that both of our families did growing up, and we continue to do with our little family of 6.  This year, Kayla asked for something extra though--perhaps a new tradition for our family of Bissonnettes.  She wanted to pray a decade of the Rosary and I'm sure you can guess which mystery (The Nativity-duh!).  It was really beautiful to hear Chris read the Christmas story and then pray together as a family to start our Christmas, and we were both proud of Kayla for her very appropriate suggestion/new tradition!

(time to head downstairs....picture by Chris)

3. Nativity scene with baby Jesus!

Each year, Santa places baby Jesus in the manger, and each year the girls run first thing (before looking at presents or stockings) to the Nativity set to see if baby Jesus is there.  He was, and I added a few more friends to our scene.  Kayla was thrilled to see that "Mom, my horses are here to see baby Jesus too!"

 

(visiting the Nativity scene pictures by Chris)

We also lit a candle to remind us to pray for a dear family friend, Becky, who was in labor and who had a sweet little baby girl on Christmas Day. 

4. Christmas Gifts

The girls were thrilled to come down the stairs and find all sorts of wonderful surprises left by St. Nick.  They had asked for a train table, but we told them it was unlikely that Santa could bring one because our place isn't big enough for one.  However, that ol' rascal, St. Nick, figured out a way to still make their wish come true in the form of a smaller train set that they could use on the floor.  They were impressed with his ingenuity.

 

(train set pictures by Chris)

In addition, he brought some incredible books which the girls pored over and a set of magnet dolls which were a HUGE hit.

This Usborne Swan Lake book was only ONE of the amazing books received and already beloved. 

In our stockings, each of us found a Disney or Pixar movie (can you say family movie nights?) and a juicy orange (this was especially exciting to Elise, who noted that it was 'just like the Sweet Smell of Christmas book, Mom!'

 

(Orange Pictures by Chris)

The girls also found snow hats which thrilled them beyond belief.  The hats were pretty much worn all day when we weren't at Mass.

 

(excited hat pictures by Chris)

they are ridiculous

completely ridiculous

What is different about this picture?  

(isn't that CRAZY?!!)

This was a gift I found for Chris.  Perfect, right?

5. Kayla's Christmas gifts

I think we all agree that Kayla's gifts were the sweetest part of our Christmas.  For weeks leading up to Christmas, she holed herself up in various corners of the house working on gifts for everyone.  She even asked to use the wrapping paper and tape and wrapped all her gifts too.  And though they were essentially scraps of paper, sweet doodles and carefully drawn pictures with little personal notes, they were everyone's favorite because they came with the most love.  She was SO excited to explain all the little parts of each gift to everyone and her notes were so sweet.  My heart is so full.  What a sweetheart.  

Here she is explaining everything about Daddy's card. 

6. Christmas Mass

Next we headed to a beautiful Mass in our Christmas finery (see #7).  It was a lovely service with marvelous music by the choir and chamber orchestra.  There were several Handel pieces including one of my favorites, The Hallelujah Chorus, which was the recessional song at our wedding as well.  It was truly beautiful to celebrate and pray at such a wonderful Christmas Mass together.  

7. Christmas dresses

And we even got proof that the girls actually wore their matching dresses, sweaters, and headbands.  A few quick pictures were taken as before we left.  Several of them were typical, but in one we got everyone to smile....except Elise, who claimed (loudly) that she really needed to go potty. 

so close!

8. Lamb dinner

Last item of note from our very quiet, very peaceful (I'm actually being serious) Christmas was our very first ever try at cooking lamb.  We've had lamb, but never cooked it ourselves, so we decided that a special Christmas dinner was the perfect time to try out something new and exciting.  Thanks to my incredible husband who did pretty much all the work (except a little prepping by me on some of the dinner sides), we enjoyed a delicious meal.  

Just sharing our Christmas card collection from this year.  Definitely one of my favorite parts of the season is hearing from dear friends and family and getting to paint my house with their pictures and cards.  :)

And since that is a bit of a slow note to end on, why not share an embarrassing Elise story?  During Christmas Mass, she looked at my mid-section in carefully selected Christmas outfit, and whispered, "Mom, do you have a baby in there?"  She speaks her mind, much to the embarrassment of her mother.  There is nothing like your kid accusing you of harboring a little extra pooch in the middle to make you feel like hopping back on the P90X train....sheesh!