Word for 2017-- JOY

The semester that I spent abroad in Austria, Fr. Dave Pivonka had all the students pray about a WORD for their semester there.  I prayed and eventually felt drawn to the word, BEAUTY.  I spent a lot of time that semester contemplating God's beauty, the beauty of nature and the Church, and my own beauty in the eyes of God.  It was a wonderful semester for me spiritually.  Not because EVERYthing in my life went well (though I did meet Chris and start dating him that semester which was an amazing gift as well), but because I took the time to reflect on my life, on God's love and the way He was speaking to me through all my experiences that semester.  

2016 was a bit of a tough year for me personally.  I struggled a lot emotionally and spiritually, though I gave it all I had.  There were many blessings in 2016 (Kolbe Christopher being the most obvious one, of course!!), but there were many trials and the journey through this past year was filled with deep pain too.  I learned a lot about true faith, about TRUSTing in Christ, and about trying to live a life filled with gratitude.  But I failed a lot at all of that.  My life just wasn't as rooted in trust in the Lord and gratitude for all things.  

Because I struggled so much in 2016, I had been thinking back to Austria, a time that was so lovely and uplifting.  And that reminded me of Fr. Dave's suggestion to pray about a WORD.  So I thought I would pray about a WORD for 2017.  

And just before the new year, I got news of a terrible accident involving my sister's little niece, Joy.  She fell into a pool, nearly drowning, and was rushed to the hospital.  It has been about 5 days since the accident and we have been praying up a storm for this sweet little 1.5 year old girl and her family.  She is improving and the prayers are sustaining the family who is of course, beside themselves, but resting in the heart of Jesus and depending on God's grace.  It has been truly beautiful to witness their faith and trust in the Lord, and what an honor to be able to intercede for dear little Joy and ask the Holy Spirit to heal her little body.  

As I texted my sister over the past few days, getting updates about Joy, asking what more we could all do, and praying furiously, I suddenly realized that my WORD for 2017 was JOY.  

And not only did this family and their beautiful daughter serve as my sign from God (read: big waving hands saying "Laura, the word is JOY!  Are you hearing it?  JOY!!!!) but they also showed me what true JOY is all about.  It's not about getting what you want.  It's not about being happy all the time and never having anything bad happen.  It's more than anything about trusting the Lord and praising Him in ALL things.  The blessings and the trials.   

It's about choosing to have faith even when you can't see for all the darkness surrounding you.  It's about choosing to have hope even when it seems like nothing will ever change.  It's about choosing to love even when you are tired and feel you have nothing left to give.  It's about trusting in God's plans and not your own.  It's about praising Him and thanking Him for both the blessings and the sufferings.  It's about smiling through the suffering and holding onto Christ's strength and not your own.   

Praying with this family and reading the updates and the words from Kristin and Matt and others on FB and Instagram showed me that there can truly be JOY in all situations.  This situation is ugly and heart-wrenching and so very painful in the eyes of the world, but when you add the love of Christ and choose to trust Him and praise Him and rely on Him, there is so much joy.  So much Joy!  

Please, please, will you #prayforjoy with me?  Will you pray for this sweet little child?  Will you pray for her healing?  Will you pray that the witness of her family and the power of prayer continues to  touch the lives of many?  Will you pray for true JOY to erupt in our world as the love of Christ touches us all? 

Will you pray for me this year that I allow the Lord to heal me as well?  Will you pray that I learn to trust Him and His plan, forgive, and move forward in the JOY of Christ?  

I found many incredible quotes about joy, which I am sure will get shared throughout my year, but I wanted to share just a few of them here with you in this post right now as we begin 2017.  What are you praying for this year?  Have you considered finding a word for your year?  Perhaps one that will challenge you and point you in the right direction to make the changes you need to make to live fully.  To live JOYfully. 

Thank you for your continued prayers for little Joy.  She has been opening her eyes a bit today and is breathing more and more on her own.  Let's pray right now.  Let's ask God boldly for a miracle for this family.  Let's live a life FULL of JOY today. 

As St. John Paul II said,

 "God made us for JOY!"

Rocky Mountain National Park 2016

We have a National Parks pass for the year which expires at the end of September.  We had hoped to get one more national park in this year (Rocky Mountain) so it was perfect that Kolbe was born a tad early so that I could be recovered enough to do a bit of short hiking and justify the trip up.  

The fall foliage was out in it's glory.  Fall is my favorite and in a place like Colorado there are bold, blazing fall colors to enhance the already breathtaking scenery.  It was just lovely.  

 

(the pictures above were all taken by Chris)

See?  I wasn't kidding about the amazing scenery and the stunning fall colors. 

Though the scenery was spectacular, the day was not all smiles and contentment.  In fact, there were parts of our Rocky Mountain day that were downright crappy.  To begin, we got up there and had to take a shuttle bus to the trailhead and Ava forgot her water cup in the car.  Not an actual problem because we had plenty of water to share, but it was THE END OF THE WORLD to her.  She cried for at least half of our hike because her water cup had been left behind in the car.  Additionally it was a windy day and Elise, who has some random and intense fears, was losing her marbles about that.  So for the first half of our 3/4 mile hike was a mess.  I felt like a horrible parent as we trudged along with crying children all the while trying to reason with each of them that it was NOT in fact the end of the world.  For either of them.  Eventually they came around and the rest of the hike was nice.  

 One of our happy hikers

 

The sad sacks.....                                                         Eventually they got happy too!

Told ya it was windy.  Look at that hair do!!

And then we had a nice time for a bit while we drove through some other sections of the park and enjoyed the beauty around us.  But as we were leaving the park, we started to have more meltdowns.  We had hoped that the girls would all take rests on the way home (during what would normally be nap time), but our two cranky girls from the early part of the day hit some kind of second wind and just laughed and giggled.  Doesn't sound bad....but then they were so riled up that when the true tiredness set in they started screaming at each other and hitting each other and yelling that the other was being too loud......and on and on.  And then they'd start giggling together again for a few minutes and then the hitting and yelling would return.  It was a roughly hour and a half long saga going back and forth and ALL of it drove the rest of the car completely bonkers.  By the time we arrived home, we were all totally frazzled and on the brink of meltdowns ourselves.  Elise and Ava went to bed about 2 1/2 hours early and the rest of the clan retired earlier than usual too because it has been a long day.  Sadly we ended on a "blah" note because overall the day was a very good one with lovely sights and some fun memories made together, the meltdowns at the beginning and especially at the end tainted the day a bit.  

But I won't leave you with the blah...

I've got a few more beautiful pictures for you and an encouraging verse.  

Romans 5:3-5 

"..we rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.  And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us."

Zion NP 2016- God's Word-filled Wednesday- John 1:3

 Zion was the first National Park on our Utah NPs tour of 2016.  It's only 6.5 hours from our former home in SoCal, so we were able to wake up Tuesday (April 19) morning, have our final walk-through at our townhome with our landlord, get on the road, and easily make it to Zion before the end of the day.  We rode a tram to the Emerald Pools trailhead and took a nice, leisurely  1. 2 mile saunter up and back to the lower Emerald Pools and waterfall.  

It's incredible to contemplate Scripture in nature.  God is just so big, so POWERFUL!  Everything comes through Him, and without Him we have nothing.  Wow, what a mighty God we serve.  Truly. 

 

The waterfall was pretty, but is very hard to see in the picture (on the right).  Sometime within a few week radius of Mother's Day, we traditionally go on a hike to a waterfall, so this very well may have been my "Mother's Day" hike, though I really don't know what Chris and the kids have been discussing behind closed doors.  Either way, it was a beautiful waterfall and I got to enjoy a beautiful hike with my family to see it, so I'm a happy mommy.  

 

As usual, fun was had by all, our little hikers rocked the short hike, and we basked in the glory of an awesome Creator.  

Arches NP 2016 - God's Word-filled Wednesday: Isaiah 40:28

I love a good trip to a gorgeous national park to remind me of the splendor or our Creator.  

Arches was not the first National Park we visited on our trip (as you would notice in the summary of pictures blog post), but I just felt like posting about Arches today, so I will.  

We drove through some of the park and got a lovely view of Balanced Rock with some gorgeous snow-capped mountains in the background.  

 

Next we hiked up a half mile trail to see the Upper Delicate Arch Viewpoint.  You can hike in a lot closer to the arch from another trailhead, but it's a longer, more strenuous trail, and we didn't want to risk the kids not making it.  So we did our mile here, saw the arch and the beautiful landscape leading up to the view and headed back down the half mile and loaded back into the car to see some other sights in Arches.  

 

 

(look closely; it looks extra tiny in a photograph)

Next we drove to the Fiery Furnace viewpoint.  It's named such because of the colors of the rocks when the sun hits it (not shown in this picture obviously)

 

The pictures above were taken during our second hike (a one mile loop to see the North and South Window Arches as well as Turret Arch).  The picture above on the left is the girls sitting in the North Window looking out and the picture on the right is them climbing up to the North Window. 

from inside the arch, a little further back

Sophie wasn't digging selfies with Mommy and Daddy

This is the Turret Arch 

(the trail leads right up to it, this view is looking across standing by the North and South windows)

Our last little hike in Arches was a short trail (only 1/2 mile loop) to see the Double Arch.  

 

                                  As you can see, it was a lovely afternoon/evening 

spent hiking with our beautiful family, making memories, and 

basking in the masterful creations of our everlasting God.  

(from our road trip from SoCal to California- Day 2- April 20th)

God's Word-FILLED Wednesday- Jeremiah 29:11

God has been working with me HARD-CORE on trusting in Him recently.  In reading the book, 33 Days to Merciful Love by Fr. Mike Gaitley, I am being smacked over the head with it continually.  Trust, trust, TRUST!  I am also using Blessed Is She's Lenten devotional workbook and it, too, (through reading and reflecting on the daily readings as well as additional reflections written by Blessed Is She writers) is urging me to stop worrying and TRUST.  

As a family, we are discerning some pretty big decisions right now, and for every time I try to grab back all my worries and anxieties, God is sending me encouragement to give it to Him, to trust Him with my life, my family, my future.  Over and over and over again (I'm a bit of a control freak and pro/con lists and constant discussion about decisions is kind of how I roll).  But God has asked me to toss those things aside and simply give my plans and worries over to Him.  

This morning, I opened a fresh journal (given to me by my friend for my birthday) and this verse stared me in the face:

And just as I've done almost every other day this week, I had a quiet conversation with the Lord and gave Him (once again!) the worries that I was attempting to sneak back.  God and I have been having a lot of words recently.  I've spent some time crying.  But I've spent far more time saying, "OK, God.  Whatever you want.  Not my will, but yours be done."   And I have found so much peace in that.  My heart is no longer tied in knots about everything on my plate.  My worries about our family are balanced with the knowledge that God is in control and His plans are better than mine.  EVEN when I don't understand them.  

What a beautiful gift we have been given in the Jubilee Year of Mercy.  God's merciful love is so wide, so high, so big, and this Year of Mercy has been a wonderful reminder to accept the great outpouring of God's love and mercy that is available to us if we only open our hearts and accept it.  

What's on your heart today?  Can you read that verse with me and trust God's words to us that He has incredible plans for our lives even when we can't see how all the crazy pieces will fit together?  Can you repeat with me, "Lord, I believe.  Help my unbelief." (Mark 9:24) over and over until God's peace shines through the darkness of our fears and failings?  Can we pray these words of St. Faustina: "Jesus, I trust in You." and give Him EVERYTHING?  

Let's begin with a simple "Yes" as Mary did. 

Beautiful One-- You are His. Song of Songs 2:10

My little sister is getting married this weekend.  It's a big ol' family wedding, too.  My sisters, sisters in law, and the groom's sisters are bridesmaids, my brothers and the groom's brothers are groomsmen.  There are two sweet nieces who will be junior bridesmaids and 11 who will be flower girls.  

I'm not going to lie to you and say that preparing for this wedding has been stress free.  Big families are loads of fun.  They also mean a lot of juggling of time, being flexible while at the same time being aware of the needs of the smallest members, communicating and sacrificing.  But that is what marriage truly is.  That is what love requires.  

True love means that you do all those things and though it tires you out and you get worn thin, you do it anyway because it is for the good of the beloved.  And because when you give yourself away, you find that you are able to be filled more completely with God's grace. 

And as I'm packing for a lovely (albeit CrAzY!!) weekend spent with family to celebrate a beautiful Sacrament in the Church, I am reminded so very clearly of God's intense love for each and every once of us. 

He is waiting for us.  Waiting for us to empty ourselves of sin and pride, and open ourselves to His plan and His love.  Are we ready to follow our King, our dearest friend, our beloved?

"Arise, my darling, 

my beautiful one, and come with me. 

See!  The winter is past; the rains are over and gone.  Flowers appear on the earth; the season of singing has come, the cooing of doves is heard in our land.  The fig tree forms its early fruit; the blossoming vines spread their fragrance.  

Arise, come, my darling; my beautiful one, come with me."  

-Song on Songs 2:10-13

This song is not taken from the Song of Songs, but after reading from that book in the Bible, this is one of my favorite songs to sing to the Beautiful One who sacrificed all and showed us what true love looks like.  "Beautiful One, I love you!  Beautiful One, I adore you!"

                              

My Rock

In this family, we do a lot of hiking.  Some treks are short, some are longer.  Sometimes we explore with the kids, sometimes my hubby and I make excursions on our own.  Sometimes we traipse through the desert, at other times we climb mountains, and occasionally we even meander down along beach trails.  

Everywhere we go we encounter rock.  Different kinds of rock, but rock nonetheless.  It's everywhere in nature.  I like to think that is one of God's not-so-subtle (though still easy to miss) reminders.  

God is our rock.  He is our stronghold.  He is our fortress.  

Our God will fight for us.  And He is powerful. 

And it doesn't matter what our problem is.  He will be our stronghold.  He will be an unmovable rock that we can anchor to.  

As a mother, I often feel as though I am inadequate.  I feel that I'm never doing enough.  I feel that I'm failing my kids and my husband.  I feel a need to constantly be perfect because otherwise--"Why did you have so many kids if you can't be perfect and have it all together and care for them just so?" Most of the time people don't actually say it out loud, but they say it with their actions, with their eyes, with their sighs and mutterings.  

I realize that some of the crosses I carry as a mother aren't as difficult perhaps as some crosses that others carry.  At the end of May, I wrote a post about comparing ourselves to others and I rather feel that we tend to even compare crosses.  

But God's grace is sufficient.  

Not just for one person who struggles.  

Not just for people with BIG struggles.  

God's grace is sufficient for ALL.  

To me that means that even small crosses {like the kids refusing naps, or potty training accidents, or burning the rice, or having an untidy house} are still crosses that God is happy to help us carry. 

So as I hike along the path of life, I shouldn't be afraid to grab hold of the ROCK no matter what terrain I find myself on.  When I can't feel God because I am traveling through a desert and my soul is parched, I cry out anyway and ask for His grace.  When I come to water and can quench my soul's thirst, I should hold firm to His loving presence.  When I face mountains that seem to ever loom in front of me and climb higher and higher, I must proclaim that God IS my stronghold.  He IS my fortress and my ROCK.  

I can't let others or the circumstances that surround me allow me to lose heart or permit my faith to be shaken.  God is powerful.  God is mighty.  God is my rock.  

And if I cling to the Rock, 

I will not be shaken.  

I am my Beloved's

Psalm 139

"O LORD, you have probed me, you know me:

you know when I sit and when I stand;

you understand my thoughts from afar.

My journeys and my rest you scrutinize,

with all my ways you are familiar.

Truly you have formed my inmost being;

you knit me in my mother’s womb.

I give you thanks that I am fearfully, wonderfully made;

wonderful are your works.

My soul also you knew full well;

nor was my frame unknown to you

When I was made in secret,

when I was fashioned in the depths of the earth."

As a mother, this verse evokes so many beautiful emotions inside of me, but that's not what I want to reflect on today.  

As I sat in Mass listening to the responsorial Psalm today, I was thinking about how I need to reflect on this verse for ME!  

My heavenly Father knows me so well.  He knows everything that I am, everything that I want to be, everything that I try to be, and all the ways that I fail dreadfully.  He also knows that I was fearfully and wonderfully made.  

What came to mind while I pondered all this was a quote of Saint John Paul II's:

"We are not the sum 

of our weaknesses and failures: 

We are the sum of the Father's love for us."

There is nothing we can hide from God.  We are all plagued by weakness.  We all fail.  But the Lord already knows all that.  He already knows when we will choose sin and when we will choose love.  He knows everything.  

We need to cling to him and simply allow Him to love us.  When we start recognizing our worth IN CHRIST, our weaknesses become strength, and His grace can work freely through us because we aren't in the way.  We aren't setting up road blocks for ourselves.  I know in my life, that my biggest set backs usually happen when I begin to define myself by wordly standards.  I look at all the ways I'm not measuring up.  And it's healthy to be honest and confess our sins, but we aren't defined by them.  We are not our sins.  Nor do we need to be 'as good' as someone else.  We are unique. We were 'knit together in our mother's wombs' and we are 'fearfully and wonderfully made'.  Alleluia!  

"We are the sum of the Father's love for us."

And oh, how great and awesome is His love. 

His love can move mountains.  Mountains that overwhelm us in our lives.  Mountains of stress, confusion, hurt, unbelief.  

It can make the lame walk.  When we are tired and think we have no strength left.  When we allow fear to paralyze us and keep us from moving forward in life.  When we struggle with very real physical pains and handicaps. 

His love can heal broken hearts.  Hearts that seem so hurt and mangled that they are beyond repair.  Hearts that don't know how to even receive the gift of love.  Hearts that have pieces scattered across the globe.  Hearts that cower in corners feeling alone.  

It can calm a raging sea.  The raging of our frustrations.  The raging sea of people who hurt us over and over.  The sea of fears and failures that we swim in each day.  

God is bigger.  God is stronger.  God is greater.

He created us.  He knows us.  

And He loves us so passionately.  

We are His beloved.