So on a somewhat related note, I am going to share some some of the "secrets" that I mostly try to pretend don't actually happen because if word gets out, I might get my kids taken away from me because CLEARLY everyone but their own mother knows what is best for them and can do a better job themselves.
1. I put my kids to sleep on their stomach.
Pretty much as soon as they came home from the hospital and I was away from the nurses shoving huge stacks of paper work with "Never put your child to sleep on his/her stomach. Always lay a child on his/her back" written on every sheet. I have researched the SIDS stuff, and it makes no sense why I can't lay my child her stomach, but I always skillfully avoided the question at the pediatrician's office because I hate having to defend my parenting choices. My mother put myself and my 6 siblings to sleep on our tummies and we are all fine. My first two slept through the night at 1-2 months, and I'm not saying it's BECAUSE they slept on their STOMACHS, but I do think it's because they were sleeping how each of them was most comfortable.
2. I let my babies sleep in bed with us sometimes.
That's why the third one didn't sleep through the night as early. She was in bed with me and got used to waking up to eat more often. I'm not saying this is for everyone, and I'm not even sure I would do it with the next kid, but EVERY kid is different. What I am saying is that it's not wrong or even dangerous as all those parenting books would have you believe. Just know yourself. I don't roll over in my sleep and I wake up at the smallest thing. My hubby is not like that. I don't put our kid in the middle of the bed because the hubby sleeps like a rock and has been known to accidentally roll over and elbow right in the face without even knowing it. So, the baby comes to bed sometimes ON MY SIDE where I feel comfortable that baby will be safe.
3. I have used my kids to get out of stuff.
Every parent has. But I have legitimately said no or called things off because of my kids too. So if a parent says "Sorry, I can't make it, my kid is sick." or "Yeah, I can't do that; it's going to mess up baby's nap time", just give them the benefit of the doubt and believe it. Most of the time it's true, and you will never know which is which so why wonder?
4. I yell at my kids.
This is one of the hardest for me to admit because every time if happens, I burst into tears and crumble in a heap on the floor. It's humiliating to admit that you could be a terrible enough person to yell at a fragile, sweet, innocent little child. But kids know how to push our buttons, too, and they also keep us up at night and have at least 2,000 questions a day that NEED answers now dangit! I'm not saying this to make an argument that yelling at my kids is ever a good thing to do. I'm saying it because I don't understand why everyone expects perfection from parents. I hate that I lose my cool sometimes and let my temper get the best of me. But it happens, and all I can do is apologize to my kids for losing it and ask their forgiveness. Kids aren't the only ones who should say sorry when they've misbehaved.
5. I don't bathe my kids every night. Or even every other night.
Some weeks, I am not even sure they've had a bath. A little dirt honestly never hurt anyone. My daughter's hair might be a little tangled, but a nightly bath isn't necessary.
6. I'm not a germ-a-phobe. I'm just not.
I see people that wash their hands after every little baby thing and wash every toy and the pacifier when it falls on the ground, and on and on...I'm not judging you, but germs just don't bother me that much. My kids willingly eat dirt sometimes. I mean, they go outside and put dirt in their mouth and keep doing it! I just don't worry anymore if they pick up a raisin off the floor that's been there for a few hours or even a few days. And I stopped using that shopping cart cover after the first 5 trips to the grocery store with baby #1. It was just more of a pain than it was worth and our kids are fairly healthy, so getting a cold here or there is really not the end of the world; in fact I think it strengthens their immune systems.
7. I base the day's activities around nap times.
I know tons of people who think parents like me are over the top with schedules. But I just know what works best for me and my kids. Naps are an important aspect of keeping our kids healthy and happy as well as keeping us as parents healthy and happy. That's not to say that we never ever plan anything during the sacred nap time, but we sure as heck try not to, and we're very sorry if you don't understand or think that we aren't flexible enough. This happens to be something that we feel pretty strongly about and we make it a priority for naps to happen as much as possible. And I am also that tyrant mother who forces my daughter to take naps some days. She's 4 and we've had days and even weeks where she fights me at nap time, but I fight back because I know she is tired and still needs her nap right now. Her behavior is different in the evenings when she hasn't taken a nap, and so I enforce nap time. And in this home, we are all happier people for it.
So there you have it. Some flat out honesty. Go ahead and judge me. I'm sure you want to. :)
Updated: And here is a lovely picture quote I saw on Facebook this morning that totally nails it. Parents, don't worry about what everyone else thinks, "LIVE HOLY the present moment."
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