Mother Cabrini Shrine and Pilgrimage thoughts

On Saturday, after our visit up to Mt. Evans, we stopped at the 

Mother Cabrini Shrine in Golden, CO. 

There was more there than we realized and we made a little pilgrimage of sorts 

(and as you'll read, I'm still making one in my heart...)

The Shrine is in the hills and used to be a summer camp for the girls of Queen of Heaven Orphanage. 

The building above is where the Main Chapel as well as the Gift Shop is located.  We made a quick stop there first as that is where the Doors of Mercy are located.  How blessed we were as a family in this Year of Mercy to enter two different sets of Doors of Mercy!

Door of Mercy

In a side chapel of the Main Chapel, there were three walls of beautiful stained glass windows depicting some main events in her life.  There are descriptions that we read together every few windows and the girls learned a lovely, brief overview of her life through the descriptions and pictures put together. 

 

Just outside the Main Chapel are the Cabrini Gardens, the Cabrini Museum, and a Meditation Walk. 

With the kids, it's difficult to truly be a pilgrim, taking the time to pray and reflect in the same way you could if you were on your own or with other adults.  We walked through the Cabrini Gardens reading some of the interesting facts (That statue is from the Gardens) and we also passed through the Cabrini Museum (picture on the right above).  Inside the "museum" (it is housed in what used to be the pump house) was a corner with coloring sheets of Mother Cabrini so that we could explore a little while the girls colored briefly. 

A view from the Cabrini Gardens down on the property.  The hillside with the pines leading up is where Stairway of Prayer leads up to the large Sacred Heart of Jesus Statue. 

 

Just as you begin the Stairway of Prayer, there is a large crucifix. 

 It is here that I'll begin sharing just a little of how my week has been one filled with many personal trials.  If you know me, I'm a do-er.  And I'm prone to worry and anxiety because I want to do all the things, make everyone happy, and unfortunately, that just can't happen all the time.  I can't do everything all the time.  And most of all I can't control what others do, say, and feel, and thus I can't make everyone happy all the time. 

As you walk up the 373 steps (quite a workout in case you were wondering), there are beautiful Stations of the Cross to pray along the way.  Again, with kids, we can't make it as prayerful in that sense, but we said some Hail Marys along the way up for loved ones and special intentions we each had. 

Over the course of the next few days after our pilgrimage, I have had some days of deep discouragement.  As I noted, I have a hard time letting things go that I can't control and giving them to God.  When I'm tired, I just keep pushing myself--too hard and get burnt out.  When I'm hurt, I just keep trying to find new solutions to resolve the situation.  And eventually I just can hardly even function.  I got to that point about some personal things in my life right now on Sunday (the day after our pilgrimage) and just felt so much attack from the devil.  I cried hard.  I tried to pray.  And I was just broken.   

 

After the Stations, there are beautiful depictions of the mysteries of the Rosary (Joyful, Sorrowful, and Glorious).  Little Sophie walked up most of the 373 stairs on her own and stopped at most of the mysteries of the Rosary to find Jesus as well.  

And in my brokenness, I'm realizing that I'm still on my pilgrimage.  

This pilgrimage we made as a family was really just the beginning of some time I needed to give myself to pray and reflect on some of my personal crosses.  

I don't often share about this sort of thing, because life already has so much negativity, and it seems to be everywhere I look these days.  I try to fill our lives (and thus our blog) with as much joy and love and peace as I can instead.  But the reality is that sometimes the suffering and the crosses are necessary to get to the joy ahead.  

Mother Cabrini had a great devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus, and this statue (made in Italy) stands atop the hill visible from many points below.  It was erected in 1954. 

This heart made from stones was arranged by Mother Cabrini and some of the sisters and girls from the orphanage on her last visit in 1912, dedicating the hill to the Sacred Heart of Jesus. It is enclosed in glass now.  

At the top of the hill, surrounding the large statue are the Ten Commandments on these stone structures.  So much to ponder atop this mountain.  

For me, there was a lot of suffering and hurt that I've been carrying with me.  I'm still on that journey of pondering, but in the last few days I have come to recognize that I have a VERY hard time surrendering to Christ.  

I see a need and I want to meet it.  I see a problem and I want it fixed.  

But as I said before, I can't.  Because the only person I have control over is myself.  And sometimes the problems I want to fix involve others.  I want everyone's lives to be full of love and peace.  But I can't make that choice for others.  It has to be their choice.  

And honestly, as I found out in the last couple days, I have a very hard time making that choice for myself.  To let go.  To let God's will be done and not mine.  

We descended the stairway and headed to the Grotto.  Chris snapped that picture of the girls and I kneeling to say a quick little prayer there for family, friends, and other random intentions.  

Below the Grotto is The Spring.  The property did not have easy access to water for drinking and cooking, and when the sisters complained of the inconvenience, Mother Cabrini pointed out a place to dig in 1912 and a spring sprung up from there that still runs today (though it is now housed in a large tank and comes out of faucets).  We all had a drink of the cool, refreshing water.  

Not pictured is a Rosary Garden that lies next to the Spring.  

It was a beautiful day, filled with family and prayer.  

St. Frances Xavier Cabrini, pray for us. 

Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, have mercy on us. 

In closing, I would ask for your prayers as I continue on my personal pilgrimage.  It's one that lasts a lifetime because it involves me continually saying "Not my will, but yours be done, O Lord." and living it out.  

It's so easy for me to get discouraged because I want so much to love Christ, and I feel so often that I'm failing so horribly at it.  And in fact, I often truly am failing horribly at it.  But this small pilgrimage within my lifelong one reminded me that GOD is BIGGER.  His grace is sufficient and I need only to call out to his mercy, "Jesus, I trust in You." and "Lord, I believe.  Help my unbelief."

He will surely do the rest.