Dad and the delivery

You may think this is going to be a post all about how Mom is allowed to curse and scream and yell, "You did this to me! Make it stop!" at Dad during labor....but actually I'm going to go in the opposite direction. Here is why.

When I arrived at the hospital in labor with Kayla, one of the nurses asked Chris what he was getting me for having this baby. Right, she was talking about him getting me a Coach purse or a set of diamond earrings to match my wedding/engagement rings! Don't get me wrong; getting your wife a gift of some sort will certainly make her feel special and loved, but it's not like you can top the gift you've ALREADY helped to give her-- THE BABY!! Dad's job now is to help Mom relax as much as possible so she gets to see that GIFT as soon as possible.

note to Chris- in case you wanted to waste our money on something we can in no way afford right now (or maybe ever), this is a Coach purse that I like:

No, I'm not finished yet. That was just what got me started thinking about how women seem to think that because they go through the labor pain, they are entitled to act in completely unloving ways. I realize pain makes us all do things we normally wouldn't, BUT if you go in giving yourself permission to be a total jerk, chances are you probably WILL! And they'll forgive you for it, but why do it at all?

So, ladies, start by putting yourself in Dad's place. Have you ever had to watch someone you love go through a great deal of pain? Have you ever had to watch someone you love go through ANY kind of pain? Women are TERRIBLE at this generally. For instance, how long can you listen to your child cry when you are trying to get them to sleep through the night before you have to bury yourself under your pillow with headphones crying yourself? If you think that it is easy for your husband (who loves you very much) to watch you go through ALL the pain yourself having a baby, you are fooling yourself. Though most wouldn't admit it (they do have to maintain their macho status) it is absolutely horrible watching someone else in pain, knowing that you can't take it away for them. Sure, if they get an epidural, it lessens, but there is pain that accompanies childbirth no matter what, and your husband would give anything to take your pain away.

Next note. Have you ever seen the "beds" they offer the dads (or support person) in the hospital? They are like a tiny couch of sorts. In the picture below, you can see how small and skinny the "mattress" is.

Ladies, consider allowing Dad to just go HOME for several hours to get some real sleep. You will both have many sleepness nights at home; you might as well both try to get a little extra shut eye now while you and your insurance are paying for the help. Yes, I am saying that you can (gasp) allow the nurses to take your child to the nursery for a few hours while you get some sleep yourself and your hubby goes home to actually get some sleep in a real bed. Just something to consider...after all, how much quality time are either of you getting with your kid anyway when neither of you has slept for days? Not much. Again, everyone is different, but it is something to at least consider as a possibility.

There, I said my piece. I know I will not be a perfect and loving wife in labor, but I think that the guys deserve our respect for the part they play just as much as they respect us for the part we play. I believe that's part of why God uses both a man and a woman to create life with him. Each has a very special role to fulfill. Not just in the child raising, but in the labor and delivery too. So ladies (and guys) make sure that you give your other half the credit and love they deserve during that time too.

I love you, Chris. You're a good husband.